The Impact of Race on Messaging in Amsterdam's Gay Community: A 3-Month Study (January - March 2024)
The research I did examines the impact of race on messaging patterns within Amsterdam's gay community using Grindr, a gay dating app.
Over a 3-month period, profiles of different races—Asian (Chinese), Black, Latino, Indian, and White—were created and monitored to analyze reply rates and messaging ratios.
The research I conducted was during the rainy wintery months in the Netherlands. I did this to uncover the racial biases that persist in digital dating interactions and provide insights into the community's behavioral patterns.
And, honestly, I just wanted to know why it's been really hard to find a date in this city
How it all began...
- I was inspired by the OkCupid article done in 2014 here.
- Then I kept dragging my feet to compile and write this until I saw this article on "I Changed My Race to White on Hinge And got better matches. Is the algorithm the problem, or the men?" (Open this article in cognito and you can access it).
I mean, I always knew this, felt this, and experienced it. I even wrote other articles about this, but I never really had enough substantial data to reflect on.
As someone who has faced challenges in dating, I wanted to understand this topic more deeply. By analyzing how race affects messaging in Amsterdam's gay community, I hoped to have shareable data points for people in my life that have gaslighted me (and still do).
Methodology
Profile Creation
Five Grindr profiles were created to represent distinct racial identities:
- White
- Latino
- Black
- Indian
- Asian
Each profile had the following consistent characteristics to control for variables other than race:
- Age: 35-40 years old
- Height: 5'10"
- Weight: 160 lbs
- Profile Texts: Written in English, focusing on interests and hobbies to appeal broadly
- Photos: I used a site called generated.photos to help me find these eligible models.
Data Collection
- The messaging was done based on proximity, without applying any other filters.
- The location was set to Amsterdam and the surrounding areas, including locals as well as expats and tourists.
Immediately when starting this, I noticed that expats (many people had this in their profile indicating they were expats) and tourists (who also mentioned in their profile they were visiting) were more open to engaging with other races compared to local residents.
Over the 3-month period, the following metrics were documented for each profile:
- Reply Percentage: The percentage of messages received that were replied to.
- Message Sender to Recipient Ratio: The percentage of messages sent by each profile to the number of replies received.
- Recipient Activity: The number of messages each profile received just for being active on the grid.
To ensure the reliability of the data, each profile was actively used for the same amount of time each day.
- 7pm-9pm
- Wednesday-Sunday
However, they were not always used on the same day. I understand that it would have been great to run all 5 profiles simultaneously, but I didn't have 5 devices.
Results
Message Sender to Recipient Ratio
The table below shows the sender to recipient ratio for each profile:
| Profile | Messages Sent | Replies Received | Sender to Recipient Ratio (%) |
|---|---|---|---|
| White | 200 | 177 | 88.5% |
| Latino | 200 | 96 | 48.0% |
| Black | 200 | 79 | 39.5% |
| Indian | 200 | 67 | 33.5% |
| Asian | 200 | 34 | 17.0% |
Recipient Activity
The following table presents the number of messages each profile received just for being active on the grid:
| Profile | Messages Received on Grid |
|---|---|
| White | 122 |
| Latino | 84 |
| Black | 65 |
| Indian | 34 |
| Asian | 27 |
Discussion
White Male Profile
The profile with the white male received the highest reply rates and maintained the highest ratios in both sending and receiving messages. Additionally, they received the most unsolicited messages simply for being active on the grid.
Latino Male Profile
Latino profiles also performed relatively well, securing the second-highest reply rates and recipient activity. This could be attributed to the exoticism or perceived attractiveness of Latino men within the Amsterdam gay community. In the context of gay dating, these stereotypes can lead to fetishization, which complicates genuine connections.
Black Male Profile
Black profiles experienced lower reply rates and messaging ratios, as well as lower recipient activity. This aligns with existing studies indicating that Black individuals often face biases and messaging I've encountered here. These biases may stem from deeply ingrained stereotypes and societal prejudices that negatively impact perceptions and interactions. Black men in the gay dating scene often face stereotypes of hypersexuality or being perceived as less desirable due to racist notions.
Indian Male Profile
The Indian male profile had moderate success, placing fourth. This suggests a nuanced perception of Indian men in the dating community. Indian men often face challenges and biases, such as stereotypes of being overly conservative, and other cultural stereotypes, which can impact their dating experiences. In gay dating, these stereotypes may lead to perceptions of incompatibility or lack of confidence, making it harder to establish connections.
Asian Male Profile
The Asian male profile had the lowest reply rates, messaging ratios, and recipient activity, highlighting a significant level of bias against them. Gay cultural stereotypes in the gay world portray Asian men as less masculine may contribute to these biases, leading to lower engagement rates. In the context of gay dating, Asian men can face additional challenges, such as being fetishized or considered less dominant, which further complicates their dating experiences. These stereotypes can result in fewer responses and interactions, reinforcing feelings of exclusion and marginalization.
So what now?
Well, the data is out there, and all that we can do is try to break our biases and make more conscious decisions in our interactions. It’s important to remember that everyone deserves respect and genuine connection, regardless of their racial background. It’s crucial to challenge our preconceived notions and stereotypes, embracing the diversity and richness of experiences different individuals bring to the table. By fostering open-mindedness and inclusivity, we can create a more equitable and accepting community, both online and offline.
As far as the Netherlands, and Amsterdam. It's truly a great place. As much as the racism and discrimination (and gaslighting) I do receive here on a social level, there are still great people I have in my life here.
My work-life balance is amazing, my job is fulfilling, I personally like the health care system, the central station in Amsterdam is never finishing it's eternal remodel/enhancements, it's great living in a walkable city, and being able to bike/tram across the city country (and train to other countries).
However, the balance is off though which does make day-to-day living a challenge. I was once known as the 'Social Mayor of San Francisco', and now I have one friend and a few acquaintances in this city although I've lived here for 7 years. Making friends is hard as an adult (and as a non-white person), race also plays a role in friendships here as well. The friends that I click with move away as many people struggle to adjust to the isolation one does feel here.
As one great wise Derek Mitchell says in his comical (but true instagram reel). 'In Amsterdam, you'll have an easy life, but a lonely life. You'll come to question everything about yourself, your identity."